Bitter Sweet
by Saunders2
Summary: There's Yin and Yang- opposites, opposing forces. Love is no different, it is like the "force"- there's a dark and a light side and it keeps the world together. "It's hard not to find it all a little bittersweet"- Tim McGraw, Taylor Swift
1. Whiskey Lullaby: Part 1

**I think it's 'M' rated, but I'm not totally sure.**

**Alright, so this is my first story that is actually painful, so unless you can stand the pain of the way I'm ripping Chlerek apart, I would highly advise that you SKIP.**

**Summary: He had been gone for far too long. He didn't know what pain time could cause, nor did she.**

**Disclaimer:I only own my own tears as I wrote this.**

* * *

**Whiskey Lullaby - Part 1**

_la la la la la la la (x2)_

_She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette._

He had been gone so long, so very long, that he didn't understand how long he'd been gone. He took a deep breath before he opened the door to the house. It was exactly as he had remembered it, the grass had been freshly mown, the door oiled and the paint fresh and crisp. As he walked across the main hall, not a board squeaked and they were polished, the smell pf lemon cleaner filling the air. He smiled. Walking into the living room, he smiled at the bright walls and they welcoming decor. It was just like her, keeping the room welcome for guests, whether any were coming or not. He dropped his bag in the room and walked back out, continuing up the hall. He stopped at a shelf of pictures, each one of either them or their whole family, his brother and sister, his father and her's. Her smile, warm and bright, seemed to dominate each photo, leaving a happiness and love that only she could bring.

Suddenly, a sigh sounded upstairs. His confidence was renewed with the sound of a living soul, of her. He turned from the shelf and took the stairs quickly, but quietly, ready to surprise her with his return. As he reached the room, their room, he stopped just before opening the fixed his tie, took a deep breath, and pushed open the polished wooden door.

He wished he hadn't.

There she sat, rubbing her eyes. Beside her, however, was a man. And not just any man, his brother. He stepped backed, desperately trying to get away from the scene. He ran into the wall, the crash sounded, drawing the only other two occupants of the house out to see. They both stood in the doorway, gaping at him. She registered it first, and reached out for him. He shuddered under her fleeting touch before he ran, down the stairs, out the door and back into his car.

She followed him, calling his name, asking him to wait, to let her explain. His brother followed as well, pain and anguish written across his face. Yet, it was etched into Chloe's, tears ran down her face as she screamed out his name, calling for him over and over. When his vehicle was no more than a spot in the distant, she knew she had lost. Dropping to her knees, she called one more time, but she knew she wouldn't get any reply. Heart wrenching sobs escaped her, and as he drove away, they tore out of him as well.

_She broke his heart. He spent his whole life trying to forget. We watched him drink his pain, a little at a time._

Every time he woke, he looked to the sky. Each time it was like a his heart was being twisted, unimaginable pain coursing through him again as he saw the morning sky, the beauty of it as clear as her eyes. And he would reach to his bedside table, and grab for another bottle. He would gulp from it, and slowly, he drowned himself enough that it would ease enough for him that he could get up and move.

As he walked into another bar, he looked back, feeling eyes on him. He thought he saw her pure baby blues. He shook it off, and walked in. His sister watched, pain and sorrow streaking her gorgues features. She then began to look through the crowd once more until she found her. She fought her way through the crowd, blonde curls flying in her face and her blue eyes shattered as she pushed her way, trying to make it to him.

Tori, once she saw her friend and brother disappear within the bar, she then went in herself. Her brother was easily found, he sat at the end of the bar, another shot of whiskey on the tip of his tongue as he set down his glass. The friend was harder, but she found her. She was at the other end of the room, the crowd moving her around, but never in the direction she wished. Another shot of whiskey went down his throat and she flinched.

_But he never could get drunk enough to get off his mind, until the night._

Another crash sounded from upstairs and Tori flinched. Another crash. She heard him cry her name, it coming out as half sob and half tortured scream. The sound caused tears to burst from her eyes and pour down her face. Another crash nd then a the sound of something heavy falling. His worried sister's eyes widened as she feared that he had hurt himself physically, or more so. She dropped the plate, allowing it to shatter on the ground as she ran up the stairs.

_He put the bottle to his head and pulled the trigger. And finally drank away his memory. Life is short, but this time it was bigger, then the strength he had to get up off his knees._

The shot rang through the house, echoing. His dear sister stumbled, her eyes widening in shock.

"No." She mumbled. It registered. "No!" Her shriek filled the sudden quiet. She burst through the door of her brother's bedroom. There he lay, on his bed, limbs spread in all directions. Slowly, she crept up to him, fearing that her thoughts were true and that he was gone.

_We found him with his face down in the pillow, with a note that said, "I'll love her 'til die"_

Tori touched his arm, it was still warm, but the warmth was fading fast. She shook him gently, waiting for him to yell at her to leave him be. He didn't do anything.

"Derek?" she called quietly. No response."Derek!" Her cry was shrill and fearful, she continued to shake him, urging him desperately to wake up, to answer her. To yell at her to go away, or to smack her away. To move. There was no reply to any of her frantic efforts.

Sobbing, she ran downstairs and picked up her cell. She didn't think, just pushed buttons. Desperately, she paced around the living area, yelling at the phone, for the person she called to pick up.

"What the-" the male voice cut off as he heard the sobbing over the speaker. "Tori? Is everything alright?"

"Simon." she choked out, coming up short with what to say. "C-call C-c-chloe. An-and then g-get your b-butt over here." she hiccupped into the phone.

"Hey, are you drunk?" he asked. He didn't want to have to deal with his hung over sister when she got out of her stupor. The last time had gotten him a severe migraine.

"No!" his sister shrieked, positively horrified at the idea. "Just come over." she paused, then, in a soft voice, whispered, "It's Derek."

Her brother's eyes widened, but he couldn't see it. "I'll call Chloe as I drive over."

"okay." Tori whispered. She hung up.

After ten minutes of anxious waiting, and more desperate attempts to get an answer from Derek, though she knew it was hopeless, there was a knock at the door. Scrambling to answer, she threw open the door and hugged her brother. He was surprised but squeezed her tightly nonetheless. Relief washed through his damaged sister, along with all her pain, and she began to sob into his neck, letting out all her frustration and fear.

"Hey, hey." he cooed, suddenly unsure of how to handle this. He had never seen this side to her before, this emotional, broken side. It frightened him, causing him to wonder what had happened to Derek and how it had affected his brave, stubborn, crazy sister to the point of breaking. "Sis, what happened?"

"It caught up to him." her vice wa hard to understand, but he made no move to push her away. Instead, he picked her up and carried her into the house, closing the door behind them. As he passed the kitchen, he aw the shattered plate on the ground. He would ask her about it later, when she was calmer.

He sat upon the couch and let her rest on his lap. He continued to hold her, subtly rocking them. "What caught up to him? What did he do?"

"The pain, Simon." she sobbed. "It finally killed him." realizing what se had just said, her tears fell with renewed force and he shook, the sobs raking through her body. "I'll show you." she said softly.

Pulling away, she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. She stood up, and with Simon in tow, she lead him up to their brother's room.

She paused before shoving the door open and stepping in. There was a sharp intake of breath, and she glanced over at her brother. He was staring at his brother, at the blood that pooled on the left side of his head, at the revolver that laid on the ground, at his brothers tangled limbs.

"It's not true." he whispered, shaking his head. He didn't know that those same words raced through the head of the dead man before him, that he had begged to not be when the proof laid in front for him to plainly see.

The brother walked up to the man who laid unmoving on the bed, his sibling watching his every move with pain burning in her eyes. He stepped up to the front of the bed, and stood, staring the red pool that had been made by a small hole right above his ear. Tears began to run down his face as he bent down and lifted a piece of stained paper from out of his brother's blood. He read it out loud, just as Chloe walked in, having entered the unlocked front door.

"I, Derek Souza, will love her until I die. Even if the pain of doing so is what kills me."

"No!" both siblings in the room turned to the blonde haired girl who stood in the doorway. "No!' she cried again, dropping her purse on the floor. She didn't even flinch at the bang it made when it collided with the floor. she raced forward, pushing past Simon, but he stopped her from going any farther than he had. He grabbed her waist and pulled her towards him. He pulled her against his chest, and his arms constricted around her as she thrashed against him, her eyes wide, tears spilling from the blue orbs the dead man had adored. She called his name as she fought against her restraints, pain and anguish etched into her angelic face once more. She screamed for him, screaming out his name as she had not so many years ago, calling for him to come back.

And just like before, when she finally realized he was too far gone, she dropped, going limp in her captors arms. He loosened his arms, and she collapsed, falling to her knees as history repeated itself. So, once more, heart wrenching sobs were produced from the crumpled girl on the floor as she longed for the healing touch of her love.

_And when they buried him beneath the willow, the angels sang a whiskey lullaby._

* * *

**To be continued...**


	2. Whiskey Lullaby: Part 2

Okay,** so here is Part 2 in this tale of woe.**

**D: Okay, my friend is becoming a user of weird words and I'm beginning to question her. What's this, Jo?**

**J: It's a ton of songfics that I either add to when I'm stuck or bored, or I add to when I have a request.**

**D: and you didn't tell me about it because?**

**J: You weren't here five minutes ago and it's brand new.**

**D: Ugh, fine. But I'm also adding to it.**

**J: you already are.**

**Disclaimer: No, DJ does not own Darkest Powers. As much as they wish it was different.**

* * *

Whiskey Lullaby - Part_ 2_

_la la la la la la la, la la la la la la (x2)_

_The rumors flew, but nobody knew how much she blamed herself._

All the guests had left, the preacher was gone, and all that was left was a blonde haired, blue eyed woman staring at the ground beneath the willow tree, the willow tree that held so many memories. The reason she had asked for him to be buried in this particular place and not in a cemetery.

She wanted to scream, she wanted to wail, she wanted to shriek to high heaven. But she was out in the open. Where far too many people would see her anguish.

Pushing herself up from the ground, she stood and held her head high as she walked the trail that lead from this particular spot to her home. Or, what used to be. And when she climbed the gleaming steps, past the mown lawn and the trimmed trees and the colorful flowers, did she look back. And all she was met with was the setting sun. Sighing, she took the remaining steps inside. Dropping her bag on the floor, the echo of it made the house feel less empty. Less dead. But the next echo wasn't because of loneliness.

The screen door hit with a _thwap_, and when the actual door hit, her scream accompanied it. The sound bounced off the walls, but she didn't care about that anymore. Pain and guilt and frustration boiled in her and rage fueled it all. Anger at him, for leaving her. Anger at Simon, for having been there. But most of all, anger at herself, for having not stopped him, for not having him listen. That she had let him slip right through her grasp. That his death was all her fault.

Another scream, an anguished cry with nothing but pain and guilt filling it, escaped her throat as she remembered the note, the note that had been soaked in his blood. Just like her hands. She might as well have pulled the trigger. The scream tore through her vocal cords as she came to the conclusion that she killed him. That her love's blood was on her hands. She couldn't handle this. She had to get away. Away from the man she had killed.

She heard her feet pounding up the steps before she registered what she was doing. Her feet carried her away from it all, as far away as she could get.

Chloe crashed into the wall upstairs, but no pain was felt. Her sobs filled the air as she crashed through her home. She found photos of the two of them, happy and ready to take on the world, and smashed them, threw them. Ones with the whole family she pushed off the shelves, not knowing what she did through her anguish. Glass littered the floor, was buried in her hands, entrapped in her foot. Bloody footsteps were everywhere, bloody handprints marking walls, furniture and picture frames. Her screams accompanying the shatters and crashing of objects.

And when she was done, only two pictures remained. One of him leaving, waving at the camera as he got in his car, his smile sad but happy, joyous as he was wished farewell and good luck. And the other.

The other was of the two of them when they were fifteen and sixteen, only four months after they had first met, three months after they had shared their first kiss, two months after they had told each other 'I love you', one month after they had started school again, three weeks since they had had their first fight, two hours since they started their first date, one minute before the camera flashed, her on his lap, arms around his neck, holding on for dear life as she laughed at their foolishness. Him, holding her close, arms strong and comforting around her waist as he smiled at her, knowing that she was forever his. Just as he- she- _they_ had wanted it.

She laid her head back against the wall and tipped the bottle to her lips, the horrid smell of whiskey filling her nose, the dreadful taste sliding down her throat, but relief, however small, was granted, and she flipped the bottle of whiskey upside down, ready to ease the sharp, piercing, cutting sensation that threatened to destroy her alive. And while she had no reason to live for, she still drank.

_For years and years, she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath._

Twenty-eight years of age, and still she drank. Three years of knowing her only cure for the cutting edge pain that seemed to live withing was this, she continued to do it. Even on this night.

She finished her make-up, silver-black eyeshadow, silver eyeliner and thick mascara drew your attention to her face. She had used concealer to hide the dark spots under her eyes, the only indication of her pain. Nightmares had plagued her for weeks, and almost always the same.

She fiddled with the blacks straps of her black dress. It barely reached her knees and a sapphire blue belt, tied in a bow on her left side, wrapped just a little below her rib cage. Black flats with little blue diamond studs making a simple design encased her feet. Her hands were covered by elegant black, elbow-length gloves, blue beads on her left wrist. A silver chain hung around her neck, a blue and green gem design falling into the hole in her collar bone, drawing your attention to her breasts. her blonde hair was up in a simple bun, but black lace encased it. This look was dark, but whenever she went out, black was what she wore. From black jeans and a black tee to what she wore now, it was always black.

Three years of pain with nothing but whiskey to help numb it was an awfully long time to hide her problem. But she could care less. Hiding the fact that she drank was no hassle.

_We watched her drink her pain away, a little at a time. But she never could get drunk enough to get him off of her mind._

Another bar, another guy. His hands rested on her hips, squeezing tightly, leaving bruises as he sloppily kissed her neck. He brought his mouth back up to hers and tried to hiss her senseless. And as soon as his lips touched hers, the whiskey did a number.

Everything seemed to tilt, and suddenly, a random guy was no longer kissing her. Derek stood there, his eyes closed, mouth settled in a satisfied smirk as his large hands squeezed her hips gently, hands now moving up her back, lightly brushing and rendering her breathless. She immediately closed her eyes and kissed him back eagerly, her hands tightening around his neck as her fingers played with the tendrils of hair that rested on the nape within her reach.

He pushed her down onto the bed and his tongue ran along her lower lip, causing her to gasp and her eyes to fly open as she allowed him entrance.

The world tilted again, and the perfect stranger was in front of her, his tongue in her mouth, one hand wrapped in her hair while the other gripped her butt. His body pressed against hers in the most uncomfortable way as he laid on top of her with her laying on the bed,

She pushed him off, pushed him away. His unbuttoned shirt flew open. She sat up, and pushed him again, away from her and out of her room. Standing, she continued to push him out, him rejecting all the way. She gave one final shove and out her door he was. She slammed it in his face and locked it.

Tears streaming down her face, she reaches over to her vanity and grabbed the whiskey bottle.

_Until the night... She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger, and finally drank away his memory._

A whiskey bottle and one of her last pictures of him, a picture of him after he graduated college, a grin on his face, were gripped firmly in her hands as she raced away from her empty, dead house, skirts and hair flying behind her.

She ran, her destination in mind, the only place she had visited in the last week. His grave.

The willow sat there, shading his home. She practically fell to her knees before him. Tears slid down her face in never ending streams as she stared at the dying flowers that laid next to his headstone.

"I'm sorry." she murmurs, than opens her other hand and pills roll around, thirty or so more. She lifts that hand to her lips and pours the pills into her mouth. She takes her whiskey bottle and begins to drain it, taking pills down with every gulp.

And, she just sits there and waits, finishing off the last of her bottle of whiskey.

_Life is short, but this time it was bigger than the strength she had to get up on her knee, We found her with her face down in the pillow, clinging to his picture for dear life. We laid her next to him beneath the willow..._

They find her together. And instead of the feeling of dread and grief filling them, they feel relief. They feel her loss, but she is gone, and she no longer suffers.

She lays there, her upper body across his grave. And in her right hand, is a photo. A photo of him, his smile, his eyes, his love. And she grips it tightly, and even though in dead, she never loosens her grip.

_... While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby._

_la la la la la la la , la la la la la la la (x2)_

Everyone's leaving, but she wants one last glance. Black hair swings as her crystalline blue eyes look back at the willow. And, she can see them. He walks out from behind, staring at his shoes as the kick the ground. She comes from the other side, her smile apologetic but glances up to see her, and in that moment, all is forgiven.

They rush to each other, arms wrapping around the other as the embrace, the simple embrace they both had waited for for so long is are safe in the other's arms once again.

She smiles. They're happy. They are reunited once more. And while she will never see them again, not for a long time at least, the six-year-old has the comfort of knowing that her mother and father are safe and happy one more time.

She turns away, but her smile never fades.

* * *

**See, I told you it would have a happy ending. I did tell you that, didn't I?**

**Oh, well.**

**Toodles!**

**-DJ**


	3. Cold as You

**Hey! Sorry this took me so long. I hope you like this and well, yeah.**

**Disclaimer: all rights belong to Kelley Armstrong, for this wonder series, and Taylor Swift, for her wonderful lyrics.**

* * *

**Summary**:** One year is enough. One year causes plenty of damage. And one year of avoidance always causes problems. After one year, Chloe has the biggest challenge to face- feigning nonchalance. Can she do it? Or will she burn, although, she seems more likely to be frozen by the ice of pain and shattered by the hammer of loneliness?**

* * *

**Cold as You**

I blew the hair out of my face and shoved the keys into the ignition, turning on the machine. As soon as I did, the car roared to life, as did the C.D. player. I punched the button that switched it to the radio and them slammed it off. The song was playing on both the radio _and_ the CD. A coincidence? I think not.

The date stared me in the face, orange light up letters on a tiny screen, taunting me. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the head rest and sighed, the air blowing through my nose. I put my arm over my eyes and flinched when something hit the corner of my eye. Pulling my arm away, I saw the nuisance:

My watch.

I stared at the numbers that were illuminated on the tiny screen. 6:30. And underneath it, the date. I choked as the little numbers demanded attention, seeming to glare at me. I wanted so badly to look away, but I couldn't. The torturous numbers held me captive until a honk of a car sounded in front of me.

I jumped a little and tore my gaze away from my watch. The garage was open, a black, sleek-looking automobile in the entrance. The red tail lights told me to move and I looked down to switch the gears before my eyes wandered to the rearview mirror and I began to cry; I knew what I would find up there.

I pulled out of the driveway and turned onto the still quiet street, windows dark as the sun just barely began to peek over the mountains. I drove down the silent roads, the silence just as still and hostile in my car no matter how loud the heater roared. I shivered despite the beginning to burn heat. No matter how warm it got, I would always be cold, my heart beating feebly as it tried to keep me alive. Alive for what? I don't know. Most likely more pain.

I stopped at the street light, the red light seeming to glare at me as if to say, _"You stupid girl, falling then burning. You didn't even have him burn with you. Stupid girl, don't you learn?" _

Just to keep from staring at the light, I glanced in the rearview mirror. A mistake. The black car was behind me, and the still rising sun didn't do anything to hide who sat there. A tall figure sat in the driver's seat, black hair falling in their eyes. Green eyes, hard and guarded. They glared at the back of my car and I flinched. He looked up and met my gaze for a second in the mirror and I quickly looked away, pain flaring in my chest, making it hard to breathe as my heart wailed in agony.

The light changed to green and it did nothing to help me. As I sped towards the interstate, I didn't see how it helped at all. The green might've been the green of spring grass, but it was green. Nothing, not even a difference in shade, made the burden any lighter. I choked as I struggled to keep my sobs down. I pushed harder against the gas pedal and flew down the nearly empty road, doing seventy. Even that wasn't enough to outrun the pain.

Hoping to drown myself out, my cries for _him_, I turned on the radio.

_ You have a way of coming easily to me._

The song met my saddened cries and shhed them, as the sweet, sad, pained voice sang. An image of _him_ burned to the front of my mind's eye, every little detail blown up for me to see. The song, plus his picture, urged me to cry. The first, hot tear burned down my face, leaving a hot, salty trail down my face where it pooled in the corner of my mouth. It was the first wave of the dam.

_And when you take, you take the very best of me_

_So, I start a fight 'cause I need to feel something_

As the tears spill down my cheeks, I think of all the things that I said. All my retorts. All his replies. All the pain. I think about the fights we got into, where we would both end up crying, wouldn't talk to each other for weeks and then, when one says the other's name, all is forgiven. It was torture, because we would be living in a façade, a lie. We would pretend we were happy, because, we were really just huddling, waiting for the next fight. The next rude words. The next unkind comment. The next shot of pain. The next heart-break.

_You do what you want 'cause I'm not what you wanted!_

My hands shake and I can barely keep the steering wheel still. My watering eyes make the road blurry and I have a hard time seeing where I'm going, keeping to the correct lane. The exit signs fly past in flurry of black blobs and I blink back the tears, trying to focus on the speedometer.

85.

_Oh, what a shame! What a rainy ending given to the perfect day._

A streak of lightning runs across the sky and I begin to notice that my tears were not the only reason I couldn't see.

It's raining.

A crack of thunder surprises me and I let out a yelp. Immediately, I slam the wipers on and the world is open to me. I slow down, bringing my speed to 65. Suddenly, a red light flashes in the corner of my eye. I glance at the road, steady the wheel and look down at it.

I'm low on gas.

_Just walk away ain't no use defending words that you will never say._

"I'm sorry." the words ring in my head with the singer's words. "I'm sorry." Those never meant anything. They never have. They don't _fix_ anything. They leave a fake trail of happiness and blindness as you slowly walk away from the pain and keep walking, simply waiting for the next time. For the snake to bite you again. To apologize again. To leave a mark again. To hurt again.

I glance at the road signs that tell me what's at the next stop. A few motels, a couple of restraunts, a few casinos, weirdly enough, but no gas stations. I crank up my speed a little, going to 70, and cross my fingers it will get me to the next exit faster.

About three miles later, I'm staring at more exit signs as they fly past. One says there is a Flying J a few miles away. I pull to the exit lane.

_And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through, I've never been anywhere cold as you._

I realize that the song playing on the radio is no longer the song playing in my head, but the lyrics are there anyways.

_You put up walls and paint them all the shade of gray._

I turn off the music on the radio and listen instead to the lyrics in my head. I pull up to the light, red shining hazily through the dreary rain as it hailed down on me. As I waited for the light turn to green, my blinker on, I see headlights shining bright right behind me. I looked in the rearview mirror to see nothing beside the two glowing orbs due to the heavy fall of tears from the sky.

It's like the sky is crying with me.

I shake my head, from both the idea and the anonymous car behind me, and turn left, as the light is allowing me to.

_And I stood there loving you and wished them all away._

I sigh as I drive down the quiet dirt road, gravel churning underneath my tires, sticky from the rainfall. The silence of the rain batteries e ring against my car was interrupted when my cell phone went off. I dug it out of my back pocket and glanced down at the screen.

**BLOCKED NUMBER**

I stare sadly at the screen, glancing at the road only to make sure I wouldn't run into a tree. I only knew one person who had blocked their number from me, though I had their number programmed into my phone. I even had it on speed dial. I stared at the number a moment longer before sliding it over with my thumb.

**CALL ENDED - YOU HAVE 1 MISSED CALL**

Sadness boiled in my stomach as I remember the first time I had answered that exact same number. Having said 'Hello' to the person on the other end, I wasn't expecting to have my heart shattered. Hearing his voice, demanding that- well, I don't remember what it was anymore, but I'd hung up. He'd been furious, he'd called me twice more, but I never answered. I was too broken to only hear him demand things.

But, it also killed me to know that he'd blocked his number. He'd put a wall between us, painful and cutting. It separated us, probably more than it should. But, that wall, it hurt me. I don't know if it hurt him.

I beg everyday for him to take it down. Maybe not verbally, but in my heart. I plead for him to do so.

It might make this simpler, or even better.

_And you come away with a great little story. Of a mess, of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you._

_Oh, what a shame! What a raining ending given to the perfect day._

I toss the phone into the passenger seat and drive on. My car makes a weird singing sound and I check my gas-

I'll barely make it.

Run splatters against my windshield, making it hard to see even though my wipers are going double time.

_Just walk away, ain't no use defending words that you will never say._

My heart burns as I listen to the lyrics in my head. The rain seems to taking on a rhythmic beat, following the song's melody.

Lightning flashes across the sky, my car's tires screech as they hit a particularly nasty bit of mud and my car slams off. I scream as I'm thrown against my seatbelt.

The only sound other than my labored breathing is the sound of the rain hitting my car.

In the middle of nowhere, my car broken down, in the middle of a rainstorm.

_And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through,_

My phone has zero bars as I slam it shut. How He got a hold of me earlier befuddled me now as I remember the little x by my signal, saying that I couldn't reach out to anyone for help.

I consider screaming. I've always hated that in movies, heroines that scream for help when cornered. However I didn't think anyone would hear me.

I got out of my car, thinking that the Flying J couldn't be much farther. I could buy the gas there, call a tow on the phone, use the bathroom.

My hair was soaked as soon as I closed the door. I shivered underneath my huge coat, wishing that it had a hood. I hurried as quickly as I could to the patch of trees off to the side of the road, hoping they would give me some shelter.

Bright lightning flashed across the sky and it illuminated a tree. I stared at, unsure if I had seen correctly. There was no way that what I saw was what I thought. I lived in Pennsylvania, yes, but we lived two hours or so away from the spot.

I walked over as thunder rolled through the earth, long, dark and lingering. Just like the storm clouds. I touched the trees bark, rough and gritty. The same way bark always is. I brushed my hand over the trunk to see if it was there.

_I've never been anywhere cold as you._

My hand hit a mark, like something had dug away at the bark to make a slightly curved line. I followed, trying to figure out what shape it made. Finding a spot where the bark was slightly in the design, like it was jagged; a sharp point. I flinched as I realized what it was:

A heart.

I pulled my hand away just as lightning streaked across the sky and I saw the design.

A heart, a little rusty, but otherwise, flawless in construction. Inside were two initials, a plus sign signaling their devotion.

We'd been silly kids when we did this, but seeing it now, my heart screamed in despair and desolation. The bark held it for eternity, holding it together.

Unlike us.

D + C

We weren't forever. We didn't stand tall. We didn't hold. We shattered.

_You never did give a dang thing, honey, but I cried, cried for you._

I yelped when lights suddenly appeared on the tree and I spun around, turning to see a dark shape with two glowing headlights shining on me and the tree. I shielded my eyes from the blinding light, trying to see past the glare.

The lights shut off, as did the vehicle, and the driver's side opened, revealing a tall man. I couldn't make much else of him out, however, he bared down on me and I shrunk into the tree, looking to either side of me for an escape route.

"What were you thinking?" Derek's low, deep, threatening and, to those who knew him well, frightened voice growled.

"I-I-I" I stuttered over my words, unable to comprehend anything.

"Did you think to check you gas mileage before you took off, how much of an idiot are you?" the comment stung, and I snapped back before I even knew what I was doing.

Tears flowed down my cheeks as I said, "A pretty big one, since I ended up with you."

He reeled back as if he'd been slapped. Then, he marched forwards until he was right in front of me, glaring, but beneath the hard angry, green glass was a shattered, hurt look.

"That's not what you said before."

"You weren't like this before."

_And I know you wouldn't have told nobody if I died, died for you._

"Chloe," he reached towards me, one hand attempting to snatch my hand. I jumped out of the way, leaving the tree in full view. I may love him, he may hurt me, but I wasn't going to bend. If I lasted a year, I can last forever.

_Died for you._

"No Derek." I say, glaring up at him. "Don't try to help me, to try to tell me you love me. I'm not blind any more."

"I- Chloe, I"

"Just go away Derek." I turned away. Another stream of lightning hit the sky.

Derek gasped and I looked back to see him staring at the tree. "This is our tree." He whispered. "From out first kiss."

"Yeah." I'm about to go back on my way when he blurts out, "Do you remember Springsteen?"

"Springsteen, the song?" I'm confused. He hated that song.

"Mm-hmm."

_Oh, what a shame! What a rainy ending given to the perfect day... Ahh!_

_Every smile you fake is so condescending, counting all the scars you've made._

I sang the first few bars of the chorus. "_When you think it about me, Do you think about seventeen? Do you think about my old Jeep? Think about the stars in the sky?"_

_"Funny how a melody, sounds memory. Like a sound track to July, Saturday night." _He sang back in his sweet, deep base. "That was our song."

"Our song? How about the song I listened to over and over again and tried to get you to sing but you thought it was ridiculous." I mumbled, remembering how I'd crank it up in my room, when we were home alone, in the car anywhere I could get away with. He never sang along.

"Chloe, I know you love that song. I hear you playing it everyday on your radio. Please, I'm so-"

"Sorry?" I snapped, angry with the cursed word. "You're saying sorry? For what? Making me live everyday with this sadness and pain? For killing me and leaving me? Don't say you're sorry, Derek, when sorry is just another empty promise."

"Chloe!" He grabbed my arm and pulled me in front of the tree, pointing at the heart.

_And now that I'm sitting here, thinking it through,_

"Chloe, so you see this? Do you see this?"

"I see it, Derek!" I said, wanting to get away from him. The way his body pressed against mine, his arm holding me there brought back memories- memories I didn't want to see.

"It's been here for eight whole years! Tell me, we've been together seven of those! If we could work through that, we can work together now!"

"What have you been drinking?" I whispered. "We're done for. We're over. We-"

"And yet we're still living in the same house. If we can do that, we can fix this. Chloe, please."

"Derek, I- I can't!" I felt the warm tears slide down my cheeks, combining with the cold rain droplets. "Everyone leaves, nobody stays. And you, you promised to stay by my side, and look where we are now! Love- it's bittersweet. Derek, I can't do it, not again."

"Chloe, please." He moved to face me, placing both hands on my shoulders. "We can do this, give me a second chance."

"At what, Derek? At putting on a show? Fooling me?"

"No," his face was so close I could feel his breath on my lips. "A second chance at loving you."

He just waited there, mouth inches from mine, simply waiting for me to seal the deal. I touched his lips, and I was immediately fifteen again. Brave, wild and free. But, the thing is, I really had never been anywhere as cold as him.

_I've never been anywhere cold as you._

* * *

**And here's Cold as You by Taylor Swift. I hope you liked it, thanks for reading. And the next short, Let Her Go by Passenger, should be out within the month.**

**-Jo**


	4. Let Her Go

**DONE! Yes, it's a little late. but hah!**

**Disclaimer: No.**

* * *

**Summary: Living with horrible regret kills someone from the inside out. Can Simon save his brother or fail?**

* * *

**Let Her Go by Passenger**

"Just get out of my sight!" She screams. "I can't help you! Just leave!" The sound of a slamming door rings through the sudden quiet. I sigh and get up from my seat, and everyone's eyes watch me as I head for the stairs.

Derek sags against the wall, his eyes closed and his face twisted in agony. I walk up the steps, going quietly as not to disturb him until I had to.

"Don't even think of pitying me." Derek's low voice has a darkness that had entered him since she forgot. He had struggled furiously to give her the space needed, but he couldn't stay away. It tortured him for weeks until he finally gave up and approached her. That was a week ago.

"You know that pushing her won't do you- or her- any good?" I say cautiously.

"No, really? I hadn't noticed." His voice was loaded with sarcasm and slashed at me.

"No, I didn't think you had. Not with the way you keep throwing yourself at her." I spat. I immediately regret my words.

They hit Derek like a punch. He groans, lets his face fall into his hands and he begins to slide down the wall that supported him. His face is pinched in pain, like he's being slashed at with a knife.

I walk up and crouch down by his side. "That was low. Sorry. But still, you need to let her go."

He inhales sharply, and begins to shake. I hear the strangled gasps of air as the enter and exit his mouth; sobs rake through him in waves. Tears roll silently down his cheeks, and I close my eyes. I can't intrude on this. This is my brother's deepest, well hidden thoughts that he buries. Nobody but Chloe has seen him like this and it feels wrong to see him when he crumbles. Derek may be smart, he may be strong, he may sometimes be a jerk, but he's human.

_Well you only need the light when it's burning low_  
_Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_  
_Only know you love her when you let her go_

Tortured. I knew Derek loved her- just not how much. I doubt even Derek knew the extent of the roots she'd set within him, how much he'd come to rely on her. And yet, with all this, I think he's beginning to see, and more that he is, it's ripping him apart. I don't know how he'll manage, but he's going to have to. He will have to move on. Someday, she may remember. Someday, she go looking for him and beg him to take her back. But for now, she only wants him to stay away from her.

"How are we going to get her out to move?" Derek asks, his voice scratchy.

Opening my eyes, I see my brother looking at me. Looking at me for answers.

"We're not. I talked to dad- we're going to have to leave her behind."

"How the hell do you expect her to-"

"To fend for herself? She's nineteen, I'm sure she'll survive." Derek flinched.

"Derek?"

We both look downstairs to see Tori looking up at us, her expression guarded. "Just leave it. She's not coming back."

I scowl down at her as Derek flinches away her stinging words.

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low_  
_Only hate the road when you're missin' home_  
_Only know you love her when you let her go_  
_And you let her go_

Tori glares right back at me before turning on her heel and going back to dad.

"She's right." A ragged whisper. I whirl to see the cold, green glass of Derek's eyes staring at me. "I have to let her go."

I nod. "I'm sorry."

He grits his teeth, anger just about to boil over. "Don't pity me, Simon. I'm not a wounded puppy."

Before I say something I regret, I walk away.

...

"A bar is your answer?" I glare at my brother. He shrugs before walking inside. He's stopped for I.D., but he simply flashes his license before getting in. I scowl before following suit, flashing my license as soon as reach the doors.

The music pulses through the floor and the air is humid, sinking of sweat and whiskey. I push myself through the crowd, heading for the bar. There's my brother, with a half full shot glass in his hands. I scowl as I walk up behind him.

"You-"

"Shut up, Simon." He growls. "I'm not gonna take your crap right now." He drains the rest of the glass before shouting for the bartender.

I shake my head. This is wrong. All wrong. He shouldn't- he _can't _be doing this. If he continues, he'll only hurt himself more. I shiver, thinking if the times he would lock himself in his room for hours and just close his eyes. He could see her when he did.

"Damn dreams, damn world, damn it all." He glares at his glass, the amber- brown color of the beer clouding the bottom.

"Derek," I say, trying for soothing. "We should go home. You'll feel better."

"Even feeling good is out of the option, Simon. Leave me be."

"Which is why I never said you'd feel good. Only better." I grab his jacket sleeve and tug gently. He looks at me, his green eyes like daggers, glaring at me.

"Don't touch me, Simon." His voice is soft, but the authority is there. "I lose everything. Everything I touch is damned. I can't lose you too."

I let it go **(a/n: let it go! Let it go!.. Okay, back to story) **and watch as my brother shortens his life.

I think that's his goal.

_Staring at the bottom of your glass_  
_Hoping one day you'll make a dream last_  
_But dreams come slow and they go so fast_

_You see her when you close your eyes_  
_Maybe one day you'll understand why_  
_Everything you touch only dies_

My shoulders sagged as my brother drained the rest of the shot glass and called the bar tender back over. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and rocked back on my heels as he drains another shot. I tense as a tear falls his cheek. I shudder as he stands and pushes past me.

I flinch as he goes to the far wall, where a slutty brunette stands, her boobs almost falling out of her dress.

I gag as he leans on the wall next to her.

I feel the bile rise in my throat as she presses her self against him.

I shake my head and heave as he begins to kiss her.

I run as he presses her against the wall. I don't look back.

There's something disturbing about seeing him like that, kissing someone he doesn't know, him drunk. It's different. It is so very, very, very wrong. My brother, the smart one, the jerk one, the guy who completely disregarded girls and though I was so stupid for dating them, not that he told ever wanted me to be gay either, he thought men to be equally stupid. But that was before Lyle House, before Chloe, before everything.

It was before he found love.

And it's tearing him apart. Dad, in private, had explained to Tori and I why Derek was so protective over Chloe, why he loved her, why he would never find another. I had never suggested anyone else, I didn't make jokes about it anymore, I encouraged them really. I made sure to help Derek keep Chloe and Chloe fall more for him everyday. I did everything I could, as did Tori.

But then the dreadful, horrid day happened.

**[FLASHBACK]**

The house was unusually silent, like it was waiting for something to happen. Simon was drawing, Kit was reading, Lauren was cleaning up dinner and I was working on the computer.

That's why I had heard the phone first.

Jumping as it rang shrilly, I cursed myself for allowing Chloe to rub off on me and picked it up. "Hello, Sharinson residence." I said in monotone. Kit had picked out the name. Chloe and Lauren were Barton.

"Hello, is this Christopher Sharinsen?" The man on the other side asked.

"Sharin_son_ and no. This is his daughter. Can I help you?" I took out a piece of paper to write out the information.

"Miss, can you bring your family and Lauren Baron to the hospital?" I dropped the pen.

"Why?" I asked, voice deathly quiet.

"I'm afraid Derek Larson and Chloe Baron have been in an accident." I put the phone back in the charger.

The next few hours were hours of screaming, crying, shouting and fear. I nearly drowned in it. The fear encased me and clogged my lungs. I walked manually to the SUV when I was yelled at to. I buckled up and stared out the window as Simon muttered nervously, tears streaming down his face, and his hands fiddling in his lap. I got out of the car when I was told to, I walked up the white steps, I entered the glass doors, I walked to the counter, I waited as Lauren talked to the receptionist and Kit had to pull her back as she began to cry and her voice began to rise. A doctor came out from behind huge, gleaming white doors and asked Simon and I if we were Derek's family. I nodded. He smiled kindly at me and grabbed my arm, waved to the adults to follow, and pulled me along.

Derek was waiting right inside the doors, tears running down his face, one arm in a cast and fear in his expression. When he saw us, he hugged Simon, I hugged him, much to his surprise and he hugged Kit. He talked quickly with Lauren and Kit and I heard none of it. I just watched.

A woman in blue scrubs came in and told us Chloe was stable enough to see us. We walked the room she lead us to and I saw Chloe's blonde halo of hair. She was okay, a little beat up, some scratches, a broken leg, but nothing overly horrid.

That was until I hugged her.

I ran toward her and hugged her, wrapping my arms around her petite frame and crying into her shoulder. I was too happy. I knew this was crazy, but she was my sister, my best friend. I loved her so much and I couldn't lose her, not now.

She hesitantly put her arms around me and patted my back. Pulling away, I wiped my face and smiled at her.

"Don't ever do this to me again, okay?" I sniffed, and put one hand around her arm in a feeble attempt to make me look fierce. "I was so scared."

She stared back at me with blank eyes. "I'm sorry," she gave me an uncertain smile. "But who are you?"

I took a step back, "You don't know who I am?"

"No, am I supposed to? Sorry. I just don't." I pushed past the startled and horrified faces of Kit, Lauren, Simon and Derek and ran from the room.

Derek caught up with me and held me. We cried together.

**[End]**

Derek had told me they were walking around town, heading to the park to talk. They'd been crossing a street when a car had come racing out of nowhere. He'd tried to get her out of the car's way and pushed her forward, she had tried to come back to him and he leaped in front of her since the car didn't stop. It hit them both, it Chloe had been hit the worst: a tire had gotten her leg and then her head had been hit by the bumper. Derek had his arm broken because of the bumper as well, but Chloe had gotten thrown because of the force. She was so small and weightless, she had flown about thirty feet and smacked the road with her head. She hadn't been hurt terribly, all except her leg and head. The trauma had done so much and the two separate and shattering hits had ruined her. Chloe didn't remember us, maybe never would. It hurt, some of us so much that as soon as soon as we got the chance, moved to England and never looked back, it kept some of us tethered, some cut all contact and Derek got the worst- he died. A ghost in a body.

_But you only need the light when it's burning low._

I splashed cold water on my face as I drink out of the faucet, trying to get the burning, acidic taste out of my mouth.

Flushing the toilet and turning off the sink, I walk out the back door where a group of girls, high schoolers from the looks of it. I glare at them, knowing their plan was to sneak through the back.

"Don't do it." I snapped. "You'll ruin yourself and your loved ones while you're at it. Just don't."

"And why not? You just walked out." A snarky, black haired girl said evenly.

"Because I was trying to stop my brother." They all backed up. "He lost his love a few months ago and has had bad problems since, drinking being one of them. Don't allow it to do that to you. Walk away girls." I walked back to my car.

Standing beside my black camaro, I slammed my hand on the hood causing a resounding banging. I growled in frustration and anger, glaring at the pink and blue light sign that said 'Betty's Bar'. I hated its simple existence, for being within good distance of my brother.

I yanked open the driver's side door and slammed it as I sat down, anger making everything bolder and more alive- and also making it hard to breath. Closing my eyes, I laid my head against the head rest and cried. The tears were hot and burning as they slid down my face. I shook with each new wave of anguish and grief, choking on my tears and sobbing.

My fingers fluttered around the car, either gripping the steering wheel or trying to find something else to hold on to. My fingers pressed against a flat, slightly rough surface and a barely audible click sounded. I opened my blood shot, burning eyes to see color and white pieces of paper like sheets, small and slim, spilling out of the compartment.

I picked one up to see what it was, my finger on wide hitting a slick yet sticky surface. I flipped it over to see a photograph.

The picture had been taken several years ago, from the looks of Derek and me. And Chloe. We were sitting on a totally cliche, red checkered picnic blanket. A rectangular wicker basket sat in front of such and we were all laughing. I was on Chloe's right, Derek to her left and Chloe squished between us. Her head rested against his shoulder, legs on my lap. She was forever stuck in the position of laughter, her blue eyes dancing, strawberry blonde hair up in a pony tail, bangs in her face. One hand was clasped with Derek's, the other wrapped in mine.

She was happy, very happy, stuck between the two of us as we took the picture. And since she was happy, so was Derek. A lopsided grin was on his face, green eyes looking down at her adoration, while his thumb was forever stuck glancing over her knuckles. And I was there, one hand on top of her legs, a honestly happy and content grin stretching across my face as I watched the two, my laughter only there because I though the two of them were ridiculously cute. I could see the love in their body language, the way they always seemed to pull towards each other, even when they were fighting.

"How can I fix this?" I wondered out loud.

_Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_  
_Only know you love her when you let her go_

The drive home was silent, even for it being just me in the car. Well, yes, I'm not usually silent, so me not talking was weird, no music and the eery, dead feeling in the vehicle laid on me and weighed on my shoulders. It was also heavy on my heart.

The car door closed silently as well, the door to my two bedroom apartment opening silently, my footsteps quiet and soft against the hard wood flooring. Everything was quiet. It had been like this ever since Chloe wasn't here to fill it with laughter. Without her here to fill it with light.

I sat down on the couch and put my head in my hands, wondering what in the world I was supposed to do. They- they had been it for each other. I knew it. Derek had known it. I'm fairly sure Chloe had to. So, why hadn't she remembered him?

I grabbed the remote control and turned on the news to the latest celebrity gossip. Nothing better than hearing about Hollywood break ups and such to calm a troubled mind. Well, at least distract it for awhile.

I turned the volume up to level thirty-six and watched, sitting back against the love seat in exhaustion.

"So, Chlo, what's your current dating status?" the reporter asked a blue eyed blonde. I snapped up at the sight of the familiar sky-blue eyes. Doe-like eyes were framed by thick, pale eyelashes that were obviously wearing a coat of mascara. Short blonde was slightly wavy and streaked with a grass-like green, bangs falling into her eyes. Neutral colors were applied as eye shadow and her pale pinks lips were glossed over. She smiled at the camera, a man that looked a lot like her, in his stance and lips, surprisingly, stood behind her.

"Oh," she laughed softly. "Nothing much. I'm just doing a little here, a little there. Nothing serious." she smiled as a birch-wood colored Pomeranian gave a little yip. She cooed at the pup, smiling down at its muddy green eyes.

The reporter ate that up. "Nothing serious, huh? What do you say about that Mr. Saunders?"

The man, Mr. Saunders, chuckled as he grinned at the camera. "I trust my little girl. I have faith in her. She makes smart choices."

"Smart choices, eh?" the reporter said slyly. "I didn't think you, a kind father and honorable business man, would say such a thing about his daughter after she disappaered for four years."

Mr. Saunders expression turned stony for a second, rage boiling at the mention of the incident, before he covered it up with a hearty laugh. "Oh, she's grown up since than. Even then, I think I'd find my girl somewhere on television."

Chlo laughed at that and she smiled lovingly up at her father, her Pomeranian licking the bottom of her chin. "Oh, daddy. I wouldn't imagine ever doing anything like that again. Once was enough, don't you think?"

Her dad gave her thankful smile as he squeezed her shoulder. "I absolutely do."

The reporter appeared on the screen, a brunette with a tight, open blouse who was obviously wearing too much make up. "And that is what's up with Miss Chloe Saunders these days guys. Everyone look out for her newest album, Remember Me, that will be appearing in October. Now back over to you guys."

The telly flashed back to the other Hollywood gossipers while I continued to stare at the screen, not hearing a word they had just said.

Album. Remember Me. Mr. Saunders. Blue eyes. Business man. Gone for four years.

Chloe Saunders.

I jumped out of my seat, leaving the tv on and went to grab my lap top. Starting it, I begged it to boot up faster. Typing my password in at super human speed, I waited impatiently for the computer to load up my desktop. Once that was done, I pulled up Google and typed up _Remember Me__ by Chloe Saunders_

The search brought up huge hits.

It gave information on the release date, the songs, the playlists, where it would open for sale, the hit singles, information on Chloe Saunders, the whole she-bang.

I pressed on the link "Lyrics to Chloe Saunders' Wish You Were Here- YouTube"

It pulled up a video and a commercial played over it. On the right side of the screen, there was a "You Can Skip This Ad in Five Seconds". I tapped my fingers impatiently and waited. Five seconds was up and my mouse clicked it as soon as it said, "Skip This Ad"

**(The song lyrics are from Hey, Monday's Wish You Were Here)**

_Here's my heart in a postcard, darling_  
_Just one step from the edge_  
_Sleep alone and it's so hard, darling_  
_You're next to me in my head_

_But it's too late, too late to call_  
_Are you out there?_  
_Too late, too much to say_

_Wish you were here_  
_Wish you well_  
_If you'd only share this hell_  
_But you leave, and stains are left on me_  
_I wish you, I wish you were here_  
_I wish you, I wish you were here_

_Here's my Hollywood ending calling_  
_Every day fades to black_  
_Sick and tired of pretending, darling_  
_That you'll ever come back_

_But it's too late, too late to call_  
_Are you out there?_  
_Too late, too much to say_

_Wish you were here_  
_Wish you well_  
_If you'd only share this hell_  
_But you leave, and stains are left on me_  
_I wish you, I wish you were here_  
_I wish you, I wish you were here_

_To tell me that something_  
_Talk me down, down again_  
_I'm broken_  
_I'm frozen out_

_Wish you were here_  
_Wish you well_  
_If you'd only share this hell_  
_But you leave, and stains are left on me_

_Wish you were here_  
_Wish you well_  
_If you'd only share this hell_  
_But you leave, and stains are left on me_  
_I wish you, I wish you were here_  
_I wish you, I wish you were here_

I stared at the screen as the grid pattern of other videos related or have to deal with the video I just watched fill up the video screen as I simply stare. This could not be possible, Chloe could not be this huge singer.

I went back to Google and typed in _Chloe Saunders. _Tapping the Wikipedia link, I pulled up the girl's bio.

**Chloe Lauren Saunders (born April 7, 1999) is an American singer-songwriter and heiress of Saunders Building. Raised in New York, Saunders ran away at the age of 15 after having been taken to Lyle House, a group home. She was diagnosed with Schizophrenia and stayed there for about two weeks before she ran away with three other occupants- Derek Souza, Simon Bae, and Rachelle Rodgers. The whereabouts of the three other teenagers, now all twenty-two, are unknown.**

**Saunders returned four years later, at the age of 19, to her father, Steven John Saunders. She came with little memory of anything that had happened of the earlier four years and no recollection at all of the incident that caused her memory loss. Over time, she has gained most of the knowledge of her four year absence, though she has yet to reveal anything besides the fact that she had an affair with former escapee, Derek Souza.**

**Saunders dove into the music business as soon as she got home. So far, she has come up with three albums and multiple hit singles, such as Ready To Love Again** (Lady Antebellum)**, If This Was A Movie **(Taylor Swift)**, More Than A Memory **(Carly Rae Jepsen)**, Bring Me To Life **(Evanescence)**, My Happy Ending **(Avril Lavigne)**,**** Dangerous, Tip Toes **(Jayme Dee)**, and Run To You **(Lady Antebellum)**.**

**Saunders' first debut was Home Again. The new songwriter and singer's talent flowed through as If This Was A Movie and Ready To Love Again topped charts. Her next album came out the next year, You + Me, along with the return of her missing lover's name. This album also skyrocketed across charts, premiering with More Than A Memory, Bring Me To Life and My Happy Ending, her mostly country hits blending more into pop rock and metal. Her album that showed up last year was bought by millions, Saunders hitting it out of the US with Not In My Eyes. Dangerous, Run To You and Tip Toes scattered across all music genres and leaving only good reviews in her wake. Grammy Awards, Academy of Country Music Awards, and many other awards were handed to the shining star.**

**This year, Chloe Saunders is granting us with her album Remember Me, with newest hits Wish You Were Here and Wildest Dreams **(Taylor Swift)**.**

I sat back, shocked at what I'd found. This was really Chloe. Actually Chloe. She had all these songs, was a huge hit and was releasing a new album next month. I closed my eyes and laid my head against the desk, wondering how in the world I could get Derek to be convinced of this.

That's when the TV finally reached my ears.

"Chloe Saunders will be playing live at Central Park tomorrow evening, along with several other artists. Entrance is free and we hope to see you there!" I snapped my head up at the news. Central Park... That was three miles away. If I could get Derek there...

The door opened as the commercials droned over and I looked up to see a giddy brunette along with a very, very drunken Derek. The picture of Chloe smiling between me and Derek flashed in my mind, along with thought of seeing her after almost five years and I jumped up. I snatched the brunette's hand and dragged her away from Derek. She yelped at my grip and tried to yank from my grasp.

"Let go of me!" she said with a slight spanish accent, brown eyes flashing. I glared right back at her.

"I don't care. You're going to get out my apartment and not show up on my doorstep again."

"Simon," Derek growled lowly, green eyes warning me. "let her go."

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low._

_Only hate the road when your missing home._

_Only know you love her when you let her go._

"No, Derek." I said. "You aren't going to have sex with her, you aren't going to let yourself, for a few hours, allow yourself to pretend she's Chloe. She's _not_. And she never will be. Just drop it and go lie down. You'll thank me for this later."

"You don't get to say who I have sex with. Nor who I decide to spend my time with." his eyes dare me to try him, dared me to say anything else about Chloe.

"Yes I do. I don't care about anything that you want to say now, while your drunk. You will go and lay down, fall asleep and we will get through the hang over tomorrow. You are _not_ going to lead this pathetic excuse for a girl on that you have no other girl in your life. You do. You will always have her and you aren't about to ruin any chance you might have left with her waste away as you decide to be foolish like I am. Only I get to do that. Now, go. To. Bed." I stared at him, the hispanic brunette watching us with a look of fear in her eyes. Derek glared at me, green eyes burning with anger and loathing. I glared right back. I wasn't backing down. He may stand serveral inches taller, understand hundred times more about math, science, and physics then I ever will and be 200 lbs of extra strong werewolf, but he wasn't going to throw his life away. He was going to leave this girl alone. He was going to be with Chloe again if I had any say about it.

Derek looked away. I nodded and dragged the brunette out the door. She didn't even look back as she scurried off.

When I closed and bolted the door, I saw that Derek had left the room, presumably to either fill his stomach, or empty it. I sighed and turned off my laptop, crossing my fingers that I could get Derek to Chloe's performance tomorrow.

...

Derek was flipping through the channels at four o'clock. My hands tapped out a rhythm against the kitchen table as I flipped through and listened to more songs by Chloe and looked up more about her, buying her albums off Amazon.

Derek was eating a sandwich and taking more headache pills at five thirty. My anxiety levels rose as I suggested taking an outing to Central Park, cool air and hot dogs. He nodded and went to grab his jacket. I relaxed, but my fingers were shaking in anticipation. I grabbed the keys to my car and a jacket as we headed out, turning off the lights and locking the door.

The three miles seemed like three hundred. Music played quietly over the radio, the winds were rolled down to allow beginning to chill air inside the car. My fingers drummed against the steering wheel in impatience as we waited for a light to turn green.

"You okay, Simon?" Derek asked, green eyes watching me.

"Yeah," I said hastily. Derek raised his eyebrows

"Doesn't sound it."

"I'm fine." I stepped on the pedal as soon as the light turned to green, hurrying towards Central as five forty-five blinked onto the car's clock. Derek's eyes regarded me with worry in their depths. I ignored it as I turned left onto 85th street, waiting impatiently for a white pontiac to pass with three following cars behind it so that I could get onto East Drive. **(a/n: no, I don't live in NYC. I have Google Maps pulled up)**

I pulled into a parking spot and killed the car, hurrying out of the car. It was five fifty. Derek looked at me weirdly as I tapped my foot impatiently against the asphalt.

"Simon?" Derek asked as we started towards the park. "What's up?"

"Nothing." I said, calming down as we came closer and closer to The Great Lawn.

"Simon, we came here in a hurry. You're normally a calm driver. You anxious, you sped through yellow lights and are always tapping some kind of impatient rhythm. What is so important about coming here?"

I thought over as much as I wanted to say before speaking. "There's a free concert playing here tonight at six fifteen and it's playing some great artists. I didn't really want to be late."

Derek chuckled, an anxiety over something being horribly wrong faded. "Never mind me being worried." I laughed with him and we hurried our way to the Lawn.

We got there about five minutes before the concert started. I sighed as we got close up to the stage, thankful for my awesome way of speeding without getting caught. We looked over the crowd, mostly fangirls and fanboys chatting excitedly about what Chloe would be wearing, what she would be singing, mumbling about whatever artists would be there. Derek didn't catch the guist that Chloe meant Chloe Saunders and I nearly sighed in relief of not having him running away because he thought I was trying to trick his heart.

"Hey everyone!" a red-haired boy appeared on stage, carrying a microphone and smiling at the group. The audience shouted back hello. "So, our favorite artist will be playing very soon. She will be on stage extremely soon. Just give her a few seconds to be ready to impress."

The crowd hooted, shouted and screamed their excitement. Derek just shook his head but stayed, much to my satisfaction.

Several band members jumped up on stage, setting up everything they needed and getting the stage ready for Chloe. Soon, there was two guitarists, a boy and a girl, the girl with a microphone, a drummer, and a keyboarder, also a girl and with a microphone. The keyboarder mouthed _one, two, three,_ before the music group started up, the tune immediately calling me to Wildest Dreams.

Chloe appeared to on stage, an electric guitar on her person. Bangs hid her face as she payed attention to the notes she played. She walked up to microphone waiting for her, and her voice began to sing the song. Derek's eyes widened as if he was beginning to recognize the voice from somewhere. He must, Chloe liked to sing to music when she was alone and he had always stayed outside to listen to her honey sweet voice.

"Have I heard her before?" Derek asked, green eyes curious as she continued on to the chorus, the crowd singing with her. I shook my head, deciding to lie.

"Maybe over the radio." I whispered back, before going to humming along with the tune. He nodded, eyes still carrying that confused look.

When the song was over, the crowd gave their applause. Chloe smiled, blue eyes gleaming. She held up her guitar and the red-haired boy came back out and took it from her. She continued to listen, before she took the microphone and stepped back.

"I'm like a broken record." she said into the device, smiling. The crowd hushed. "All I want to do is listen to him all day long."

The crowd howled as the keyboarder played something sweet on the keys. Everyone listened until it suddenly stopped and then music that was actually Chloe's type began playing. She smiled as she sang Broken Record **(Jayme Dee)**.

The crowd sang along, happy as she talked about her boyfriend being everything and all she wanted, that he was like a melody and all she wanted to do was listen to him again and again, like a broken record.

When that number was done, she said, a little breathlessly, "Now, this next number I decided to play because not only is it my favorite, but I shared it with my missing best friend." Everyone asked who he was, though they all knew.

"I sing this number by the Monkees to my love, Derek Souza."

Derek stood up straight, alarm flashing in his eyes at the mention of his name.

**(Daydream Believer by The Monkees)**

_Oh, I could hide 'neath the wings_

_Of the bluebird as she sings._  
_The six o'clock alarm would never ring._  
_But it rings and I rise,_  
_Wipe the sleep out of my eyes._  
_My shavin' razor's cold and it stings._

_Cheer up, Sleepy Jean._  
_Oh, what can it mean._  
_To a daydream believer_  
_And a homecoming queen._

_You once thought of me_  
_As a white knight on a steed._  
_Now you know how happy I can be._  
_Oh, and our good times start and end_  
_Without dollar one to spend._  
_But how much, baby, do we really need._

_Cheer up, Sleepy Jean._  
_Oh, what can it mean._  
_To a daydream believer_  
_And a homecoming queen._  
_Cheer up, Sleepy Jean._  
_Oh, what can it mean._  
_To a daydream believer_  
_And a homecoming queen._

_[Instrumental interlude]_

_Cheer up, Sleepy Jean._  
_Oh, what can it mean._  
_To a daydream believer_  
_And a homecoming queen._  
_[Repeat and fade]_

Derek just stared as Chloe's sweet voice faded out, mixed with her two back up singers. He wasn't registering anything else as she looked up at the sky, blinking tears from her eyes, a sad smile on her lips.

"Yeah, so, there we go. To my love." she grinned. "But, now that I've admitted that and played three songs, I might as well say a little bit about this." Everyone shouted in an indistinguishable response. She laughed, the sound a little sad, a little hollow.

"Okay, so my name's Chloe Saunders, but I'm sure you all knew that." Derek took in a fast breath at the mention of her name, and I knew that his heart rate was speeding up. I didn't do anything, just prayed that he wouldn't do anything rash. However, it seemed that he was frozen in his chair. "I have four awesome band members, Jenni, Kyla, Randy and Larson." everyone hooted in response, including me. "And we are your hosts for the night. You okay with that?"

The sound of pounding feet and many people's obvious shout of yes answered that, but the vibe of excitement had already answered that.

"Well then, you want to hear more?" The crowd made a loud roar. Derek's eyes closed and he took in deep breaths, like he was calming down. I hoped that he would manage to. At least throughout the rest of the concert.

_Staring at the ceiling in the dark_  
_Same old empty feeling in your heart_  
_'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast_

The next song Chloe decided to treat us with was Need You Now **(Lady Antebellum)**. Larson, the guitarist, sang the male part, and his voice was rich, and I knew why Chloe had picked him. It was like Derek had with the brunette last night. She had hoped to lie to herself, let her allow herself to believe that she could hear him one more time. The same with Derek, hoping he could pretend the brunette was her. It filled a gap, but it was empty hope- they both knew it was useless, since only the other could ever truly fit it.

Song after song was played, every once in awhile, a different artist jumping up on stage to fill a three to four minute gap while Chloe and her band got a drink and Chloe did a costume change. After about the fourth break, Chloe came on stage and sang, all by herself, If This Was A Movie in an acoustic.

The last line had Derek breathing heavily, like he was trying hard to not go up on stage, show her that he was here right now.

It was almost ten o'clock when the last song played. Welcome To New York **(Taylor Swift) **had the entire, sleepy and caffeinated crowd singing along happily.

"Thanks so much for joining us here tonight! Everyone you see on stage has loved being able to perform you and we are so glad that you enjoyed it! We are very excited to have Remember Me come out next month! We love you all and good night!"

The crowd began to disperse, the adrenaline rush beginning to fade and everyone wanting to go home to their warm beds and crash. Derek grabbed my arm and dragged me into the tree line.

"You knew," he hissed, green eyes burning me. "You _knew_ about Chloe. You _knew_ you could get me here. Why?"

"Derek, I just thought-"

"No, you thought you could possibly get me to hook up with her again. Simon, you can't do that. I can never, ever be with her again. She's gone. Don't you get that?"

"Derek Souza." I whispered angrily, staring him straight in the eyes, defying his green gaze. "You know exactly why I brought you here. Exactly why I didn't tell you who was playing. Why I lied. You know and you just don't want to face that fact again. Your a twenty-two year old werewolf, bro. You had your mate and now that we've found her again, all you have to do-"

"Is tell her?" he said sarcastically. "Yeah, that will go over well. She'll think I'm lying, that I'm some crazed, stalker fan who just wants to date because she's famous. She's not about to believe me. I'm not taking that chance."

His eyes were broken as they looked away, blinking hard. He was tearing up inside. He _needed _Chloe desperately, and fear was stopping him.

"You're all logic and never take a chance, you know that? You think you know all the stupid secrets, but you don't. Did you add up the facts that Chloe liked you during those days at the Not-So-Safe safe house? Or did you push all evidence away by sticking to your own stupid facts? Did you ever think that Chloe would fall in love with you? Or did you think this was just some dream and you had to hold on to everything you had? Did you think she'd be willing that first time? Or did you chalk it up to being insecure? What about all those other times? Did you follow those up with logic, too?"

Derek looked away, not meeting my gaze. "But you loved her, didn't you? And she loved you? Didn't she accept being your mate and even fulfilled the bond? Didn't she, Derek? Did any of those chalk up to your logic and equations?"

He continued to keep his eyes from meeting mine.

"Yeah, guys. I'll come help, there's just- just something I have to check on." our gazes both snapped to the left, hearing the voice of the person who was the topic of our conversation.

_Well you see her when you fall asleep_

_But never to touch and never to keep_  
_'Cause you loved her too much_  
_And you dived too deep  
_

A small silhouette began to make it's toward us. Derek and I shared a look and then began to whisper none sense to each other, talking about this and that. Yes, I was telling Derek to go tell Chloe who he was. But was a hypocrite sometimes? Yes, yes I was.

"Hi, I thought I heard voices." Chloe's wide blue eyes took us in the little moon light that came gleaming in through the park's tree canopy. "What are you doing in the middle of the dark woods?" she asked playfully.

"Being secretive." I said with as much as my girl charmer voice as I could. Maybe she'd notice that.

Chloe giggled. "I guessed most of that." she said back flirtatiously, but her eyes weren't in the game. I'd lived with her long enough to know when she was hiding something, and her guarded and suspicion filled eyes were dead give away to all who knew her well. "Well, if I told you I had two back stage passes to my next concert, would you come out of the dark?"

I glanced at Derek, who hadn't said a word, just watched her with hungry eyes. "Yeah, sure. I'm Simon." I said, holding my hand out for her to shake.

"Simon?" she asked, batting her big blue eyes, shaking my hand. Any other guy would've fallen for that. "Great name." I grinned before letting go of her hand to point at my brother.

"And this is my brother, Derek." I said. Derek's eyes shot up to meet mine in a 'what do you think you're doing?' way.

"Derek?" she said, and turned her eyes to Derek. They took in his frame, before they landed on his green eyes. "I knew a boy once named Derek."

"Yeah," Derek's voice came out a little breathy, like this was taking all of his self control. "Heard the song you dedicated to him."

"Really?" she said, batting her eyes up at him. Derek swallowed, hard. "So, you're a fan?"

"Kind've." his reply was strangled. I used my hand to cover my mouth to hide my smirk and Chloe fed off it.

"Really? Then you wouldn't mind spending the day with me? On a private sneak of my life?" she batted her blue eyes, placed her hand on his bicep and leaned in close.

I turned away as soon as I heard Derek swear. I knew what would happen next. There was no way he would've been able to fend her off forever. Her scent must have been driving him wild, and her being so close... I swallowed a chuckle and hid behind a tree just before the path. I wanted to hear what was going.

Concentrating everything I had on my hearing, and mumbling a small spell, I listened in on what was happening.

Chloe's gasps and Derek's moans were the first things I heard. I slammed a hand over my to keep every laugh I could in. I heard Chloe be pushed up against something, a tree no doubt, and her groan when Derek caused her to fall under her own spell. They were going in deep, seeing as how they were in love and had been apart for several years.

"Derek." Chloe's voice came out in a strangled moan.

I shook my head and passed my hand through the air beside my ear, dissipating the spell. They were definitely going home together.

_Well you only need the light when it's burning low_

_Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_  
_Only know you love her when you let her go_

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low_  
_Only hate the road when you're missin' home_  
_Only know you love her when you let her go_

As walked back to my car alone, I thought about the long years, dark months, painful weeks, retched days, horrid hours, too long minutes, and adding seconds. My mind flashed back to the picture of the summer picnic, and I smiled.

Chloe was with Derek, he'd mark her and she'd know. Derek would have his mate again and all would be well.

Yes, this was amazing.

_And you let her go._

* * *

**Isn't this amazing? I love it! So, do you love it? Please review!**

**I think either Think Twice (by Eve 6) or Springsteen (by Eric Church) will be updated next.**

**Kisses,**

**-Jo**


	5. The Truth

**CONTAINS ANGER, SELF-HARM DURING DEEP DEPRESSION**

* * *

**Summary: Covering the course of four months as she stares out the window, Chloe wonders ****what exactly she's doing when a voice from the past startles her from her marvelings. (****This is not in chronological order, but I do date the steps and name where she is.)**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I, Danni, do not own the wondrous Darkest Powers series. All rights go to Kelly Armstrong and this beautifully sad song goes Jason Aldean.**

* * *

_**The Truth- Jason Aldean**_

She leaned her forehead against the cool glass of the window and let the tears fall. She just let it, didn't stop it as her eyes stared up at the bright full moon. It gave off a pure light, giving everything a unearthly glow. Her heart was slowly being sewn together with ever tear fell, every stitch coming together as she cried. She couldn't ignore this pain, couldn't run from it, but she also couldn't let it kill her. She was strong- he'd made her that way- and she could pick herself up from this. She'd picked herself up from Davidoff, from Royce, from Liam, from her Aunt, from her mother, from Tori, from her father, from her friends, from everyone. She'd grieved, she'd hurt but she pushed on and accepted it as all. She had gotten over killing Davidoff, she'd stopped being scared of Liam and Royce, her aunt no longer ruled her life, she no longer was angry at her mother for putting her in the horrid experiment, she forgave and was best friends with Tori, her father and her had grown somewhat closer after all his years putting work before her, she no longer was mad at all the people that said something behind her back. She picked herself from that and she could do it now. This was no different-

But that's just the thing- he was different, he'd promised he would be different. So why was she here finally accepting the fact that he had broken her heart?

* * *

**January 2- Stage 1: Isolation**

_Tell 'em that I'm on vacation; say I went to visit friends. That you ain't heard a thing from me in quite awhile when they ask you where I am._

It was a pattern, one from her then one from her brother. I just sat there and listened.

"He says you broke it off, what happened?" beep.

"Tori says she called you, but I haven't heard anything. What's up?" beep.

"C'mon girl, you're scaring me. Why are you silent?" beep.

"Chlo, come on out of you house and talk. We can get coffee, or I can bring it. Are you okay?" beep.

"He says you're not around, where are you? Why didn't you invite me?" beep.

"You're not answering anything, what's going on?" beep.

"Answer the phone, girl where have you been?" beep.

"Chloe, where are you? He's not giving me anything I can work off of and I haven't seen you in ages! What is going on?" beep.

"Are you avoiding me?" beep.

"Damn it, Chloe! What is up?" beep.

"To hell with this. Answer the damn phone Chloe Saunders!" beep.

"Chloe where are you? I've resorted to begging for information and he is so vague. Give me something Chloe! What happened?" beep.

"Friends. That's what I'm getting out of him, Chlo. Friends! You, no offense, but you don't have any other friends! Where in this damned world are you?" beep.

"No one's seen your face, why are you avoiding us? Your _aunt _hasn't seen you, and he isn't giving us anything!" beep.

_Tell 'em I'm out on the East Coast, where it don't ever rain and that I'm probably doin' fine._

The emails were a little bit longer, but the same concept- where are you Chloe?

**Jan. 23**

**From Tori-**

**Chloe,**

**Hun where have you been? I haven't seen D in a while either... Answer me will you, I'm curious. Did you two elope in Vegas?**

**Jan. 25**

**From Simon-**

**Chlo,**

**Hey girl, what's up? Do you want to pick up donuts and talk? D has been silent and I wondering, he tells you everything. Is something up?**

**-Si**

**Jan. 26**

**From Tori-**

**Seen ya nowhere and you haven't replied to any my calls. Hun, what's up?**

**Jan. 29**

**From Simon-**

**Chlo,**

**Curiosity killed the cat and satisfaction brought it back. Where's my satisfaction, Chloe? D isn't replying to my texts and you are absent. Are you two, like, avoiding us or something?**

**-Si**

**Feb. 2**

**From Tori-**

**You, my dear, have been a no show for a month plus. What's up? D says you two broke up- I know I called you about this- do you need to talk? I'm free if you need me.**

**Feb. 5**

**From Simon-**

**Chloe,**

**Girl, I'm so sorry. D says you two broke up, do you want to talk?**

**-Si**

**Feb. 9**

**From Tori-**

**You're free and checking up Florida boys? Girl, why didn't you call me up? We could take on the Keys together! **

**Feb. 11**

**From Simon-**

**Jeez, Chloe talk will you? We haven't seen you in a while. Are you sure you don't want to talk? I'm open.**

_Just don't tell 'em I've gone crazy, that I'm still strung out over you. Tell 'em anything you want to, just don't tell 'em all the truth. (Tell 'em all the truth)_

Her phone was shutting off quick and she finally checked her new messages- all sixty five of them.

**Tori:**

**You, my dear, are so dead when I find you. Where in hell are you?**

**Simon:**

**Girl, no one knows where you are, what's going on? I'm trying to find you, so where are you?**

**Tori: **

**The story changes every time Chloe, where are you? I can't get a straight story.**

**Simon:**

**Your apartment is empty whenever I come over, but your stuff is still there. Did you just not pack your stuff and leave us, Chloe?**

**Tori:**

**He's considering the fact you left us, Chlo, what's going on? I'm coming over...**

**Tori:**

**Where in tarnation are you?**

**Simon:**

**Please, hun, we love you. what's going on?**

**Tori: **

**Come on, don't cut us out**

**Simon:**

**He's silent, what happened between the two of you?**

**Tori:**

**I can't get the story, so I want it. You're my friend, hun, what exactly what happened?**

**Simon:**

**Chlo, this has got to stop. We can help- just let us in**

**Tori:**

**Listen to Si (I can't believe I said that)**

**Simon:**

**Tori said it- listen to me. Let us in, tell us. We're your friends Chlo, we want to help you out.**

**Tori: **

**You're too silent, Chloe this isn't healthy.**

**Simon: **

**I saw you leave your apartment. I tried to call out to you, but you must've not heard me. Can I talk to you later?**

**Tori:**

**Please Chloe.**

All the messages were like that- just beggin for her to talk to them. She erased them all as they were taking up storage space on her phone.

* * *

**January 29- Stage 2: Anger**

_Tell 'em I'm out in Vegas, blowin' every dollar I've ever them that I must be into something bad for me because I've sure lost a lot of weight._

"Bastard!" she threw the kitchen knife at the picture. "Jerk, dick, pervert, idiot, stupid, rapist, liar, you son of a-"

Every word came with a new knife, she had an affinity of them. But she broke into tears before she could finish the last tears and dropped with the last couple of knives in her hand.

"You _bastard,_" she sobbed, crawling up to the demolished photo. Every knife had hit the frame as that was the only weapon she'd been able to use without nearly killing herself or someone else- she'd had great skill and aim, and picked up on how to throw knives very easily. But the skill he'd taught her was now being used to ruin the two of them. "You manipulative bastard." she threw her hand up with the last three knives up to hit him in the forehead with. She yanked her arm down and caused three large gashes in the painting. She laughed maniacally as the movie _Beauty and the Beast_ came to her mind- Beast ripping three gashes into a painted portrait of himself. That was his favorite show and she laughed again, but it was quieter now, and more broken. But she caught the reference, and mentally cussed him out with almost everything in her vocabulary as the anger began to pull her into sleep- he'd created a beast- a broken, sad, angry beast.

* * *

**March 4- Stage 3: Bargaining**

_Tell 'em that I'm out on the road with some old rock and roll band, living like a gypsy king._

She just sat in the doorway, looking at the pack of beer bottles. She closed her eyes and rested her head against the white frame. Her last drink had been weeks ago, and she felt like shit. She couldn't hold out for too long, she couldn't keep that dead feeling away by simple will- she would need the booze eventually. But she could hold out for awhile longer, she didn't need it right now. For right now, she could keep the pain from killing her.

Head leaned forward slightly, before she banged it hard on the frame behind her. She hissed, but did it again anyways, bringing her head forward before whipping it back. Something began to run in sticky streams down her neck, but she kept doing it. Hitting harder and harder, black and yellow and white dancing in her vision. She bit her lip as she whipped her head back one last time. She felt the blow, the impact and she fell onto her side. Blackness was creeping steadily into her line of sight, but she could see long enough to notice the red substance making its way down the door frame. _Blood,_ was all she thought as darkness dragged her away and enveloped her in pain and anguish. She was so lost.

* * *

**April 23- Stage 4: Depression**

_Just don't tell 'em I've gone crazy, that I'm still strung out over you. Tell 'em anything you want to, just don't tell 'em all the truth. (Tell 'em all the truth)_

_Because the truth is that I'm tellin' you to lie, and we both know that ain't right, but if you ever loved me- please have some mercy on me!_

Her back was pressed against the cabinet door and tears streaked her face. The beer bottle shards were all over the floor- this hurt so much. Blood streamed down with rivulets of sweat and stained the floor a bright cherry red. The bleach would have to come out soon, she didn't need her landlord to see the blood. What kind of tenet would she be if she let him?

Her fingers pried open the cabinet behind her and she brought out the foul smelling cleaner. Snatching a rag a few feet away, she poured bleach all over it and screamed out as it ran down her arms and burned into the cuts on her forearms and palm. Her cries were agony filled and the tears flowed freely as she squeezed the rag in her hand while she dropped the bleach, it smacking the floor loudly and the contents spilling everywhere. She stood up and yowled as her foot was stabbed by four or more pieces of beer bottle glass. She shook her foot to get the glass and lost her balance, landing hard on her foot in the bleach. It burned her foot and the glass dug in farther. She fell to the floor and hit her head on the tile, blackness claiming her vision.

* * *

**April 26**

She walked out of her house a couple weeks later and felt sick. The wind bit into her face, her body and her cuts. She was dressed in ripped jeans and a stained, baggy shirt. The jeans hung low on her hips, as they were too big through the waist. The shirt used to fit her well, but now hung off her shoulders. Her eyes were sunken in and her bold irises were blank and shattered. Everyone pushed and shoved there way past the stick figure of a young woman or avoided her like the plague. Her complexion was blotchy and you could see the thick scar running up her neck and poking out the edges of the heavy, big coat from her neck, bold and black and white and red, standing out on her starch white skin. Her hair gleamed with grease.

She looked sick and starving.

And that's exactly was, feverish and hungry.

* * *

**May 17- Stage 5: Acceptance**

_Just don't tell 'em I've gone crazy, that I'm still strung out over you. Tell 'em anything you want to, just don't tell them all the truth (don't tell 'em the truth)- I still need you._

**Derek-**

**This hurts, it hurts so much. I can't exactly know if you still live there, if you will read this. I don't know if I have the right address, or that I even want to send this. But, I know I have to at least write. I won't be able to live with myself if I don't, I need to get this out.**

**Derek, I love you. I don't think I will ever be able to not still love you. You were such a big part of my life, a big part of my heart. You were everything to me and I don't think I will ever be able to forget that. However, I need closure and I can only get it by writing this letter.**

**I am going to try and move on, to pick myself up and keep going. There will be the days that were just like before, when I couldn't handle it and nearly killed myself over this. I'm recovering, but it will take a lot of therapy. **

**Now, before I end this, I have one request. You don't have to do it, but i just want you to pity me for one second- don't let them know. Make up something as to why I've suddenly disappeared, why i don't answer the phone, or reply to their emails. Give them something that will keep them away from me. I know you fed them some stuff before this and all I ask is that you continue. I won't ask you anything more- just this one thing. Don't tell them the truth.**

**Yours Forever-**

**Chloe Saunders.**

She sealed the letter in a perfect white envelope, and she took a deep breath. Her hands shook as she pressed the stamp and wrote out the only address she knew for him, her writing quaking and showing her stress as she wrote out the ten letters that made his name- _Derek Souza. _She bit her lip as she thought of putting a return address on it, and then decided not to. Just stuffing it in her purse and grabbing her small thing of luggage. It barely weighted anything as she rolled it out of her pristine apartment. Everything was spotless- not a sign left that a depressed, grieving, angry young woman had lived her. No blood, no beer, no glass, just cleanliness.

As she waited in the biting wind, she gripped the letter tightly and stared at the blue box. A deep breath and she approached it, prying open the door and slipping her letter into the slot. She let it go and flinched when the flap clanged against the rest of the box. The bus pulled up to the stop and she waited patiently for the people to get off. Then, hesitantly, she stepped up. She took the next step onto the bus, and then another, dragging her luggage behind her, and she stepped onto the top, turning to face the aisle. Slowly, she began to proceed down the aisle, finding two empty seats six rows in. Setting her luggage up on the space above her, she feels the bus lurch forward as she practically falls onto the seats. She stared out the window as the bus stop fell behind her.

"Goodbye," she whimpered, tears beginning to cascade down her face. She needed this though, she needed to get away. "Goodbye Chloe Souza."

She bit her lip and brought her knees to her chest, burying her face in between her thighs as she begun to cry.

* * *

_I still love you, but that's the truth._

Chloe Souza's breath misted the clear window, the light of the midnight moon glistening brightly in the high sky.

"I still love you," she whimpered up at the crystal orb, as if it would be able to pass that message along to him.

"And I love you," his husky voice was right behind her and she spun around. His green eyes glittered in the dark, like a cat's, and he still towered a foot or so above her. Her breath caught in her throat as the werewolf's eyes roamed her body, gaze lingering on the exposed claiming bite he'd left on her seven years before and three years after.

"What are you doing here?" she gasped out.

"Fixing my mistake," he murmured.

"But how?" the girl's eyes closed as she felt for her straining heart. It beat strong and fast. Not weakly, as if it were a drowning child in an angry ocean. "I don't think it's possible."

"If it's possible for you to still love me, and I you," he took a step closer. "Chloe, I think it is."

"D- D- D-" she hadn't spoken his name in so long. She didn't know if she could possibly say it now.

"Come on, dove," the endearment made her flinch. That name hadn't been used for her in so long.

"Derek," she breathed out.

"There you go." he whispered, cupping her jaw and cheek, he slowly lead her lips to meet his.

* * *

**This was brought to you by Danni**


End file.
